Sunday, December 25, 2011

Seeing the Light

When Dad arrived this morning he found Rob in a new bed.  Someone worse off needed the RotoProne and he's done well on his back for several days.  Two weeks ago, I'm pretty sure there was no one in this hospital doing worse than Rob.  And now here he is, on Christmas Day, ready to give up the RotoProne for good (we hope).

On Sunday, December 11th, as I rocked back and forth on the floor of my living room, begging God to save my only brother, I decided this would be the best Christmas we've ever had if Rob was still here for it.

Today we experienced Christmas in a way we've never felt it before. 

It wasn't filled with wrapped presents or well-coordinated Christmas outfits (although, Jack did look pretty darn cute in his reindeer sweater).  But tonight, we were given a sign that Rob is with us.  And I just know that everything is going to be okay.

Rob's sedation was turned down today, and his eyes have been open quite a lot this evening.  He has been frowning from time to time.  He seems to know us.  But you know how we KNOW he's with us?  Mom told him that he ended up making money on his truck after all was said and done....and he raised his eyebrows.  His eyes have been wide open ever since.

Leave it to Rob to come out of this making money on that truck.  

This Christmas season has been numerous things for us: surreal, terrible, unsettling, uncertain.  But among all those emotions, the most powerful feeling has risen above them all - hope.  I've felt a peace within that can only come from the One bigger than all of this.  Our God is bigger than this.  He's using this experience, no matter what the outcome, to touch us all and to help us remember to just have a little more faith.  More than anything, I have been reminded this Christmas season that people are good.    

So while Christmas just wasn't the same this year without Rob at home, and without our usual traditions, perhaps this was maybe the closest to the real Christmas that we'll ever get. 

Last year my Christmas post ended with this message, taken from our Christmas Eve service at North Church in Indy:

Jesus came to us to be a light in the darkness.  The light does not make the darkness disappear, but the darkness cannot extinguish the light by itself.  Go into the world and shine your light.

This has undoubtedly been my family's darkest time, but the light is shining so brightly in our darkness.  It's shining because all of you are caring for us, praying for us, and reminding us that we just need to have a little more faith. 



ashley said...

what a beautiful post! i'm so happy for your family each time i get to read happy news. and i'm always impressed with what a great writer you are!

merry christmas to your entire family! :)

Anonymous said...

What you write is beautiful! Thank you for witnessing in this way. Our prayers are with you daily! Grace

Kelli and Mark said...

Oh Lindsey I'm so glad to hear the good news! Lots of prayers are coming your way. Merry Christmas.

Aunt Dena said...

Lindsey, your blog left Grandma and I in tears this evening but feeling so good about Rob's progress. We can't wait to see you all in a few days! Thanks again, sweetheart for the wonderful updates!

Lauren said...

Oh Lindsey - thus brought tears to my eyes. Such great news and such a beautifully written post. Still in my thoughts and prayers so much.

Anonymous said...

Such good news Lindsey! Having this happen to your family has made me pray more in the last two weeks than in my whole life added together. I do believe God hears our prayers and the old Rob will be back with all of you, and all his friends. Love to all of you!
Cathy Dinehart

Strombergs said...

Lindsey, I am so glad when I read about all Rob's progress on your blog! Still praying everyday!! Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

May each day draw you nearer to each other, nearer to your dear brother, and nearer to our Lord who promised to never forsake us.