So yesterday I hop on the treadmill and open a magazine in hopes of keeping my mind occupied during 45 minutes of running that I'm really not all that crazy about. My magazine of choice on this particular day was the February issue of Everyday with Rachael Ray. Reading about food while working out is probably not the best idea. I digress...anyway, the first page I turn to is "Rach's Notebook" where she gives her editorial comments. Here's what she writes:
"Each year for our wedding anniversary, John and I return to Montalcino, Italy, to celebrate with family and friends and to visit Enzo, the tree we planted on our wedding day. Just like our relationship, Enzo grows stronger with every visit."
Editor of "Little Diddy..."- Blech.
"...I'm sure extravagances like travel were removed from your family budget, a consequence of the worst economy of our lifetimes. Hopefully by now, though, the idea of a long weekend or a family getaway is back on your radar."
Editor of "Little Diddy..." - What she seems to be saying is, "Readers, I know most of you are too poor to go on vacation this year but let me tell you about our yearly pilgrimage to Italy to visit our tree. Nah-nah-nah-nah boo-boo. Keep buying my magazine!" Double blech.
I flip to the back of the magazine where there is a section labeled "Vacation Ruts" with tips on how to stop taking the same old vacation every year. I know, vacation ruts are just terrible, aren't they! One Rut is entitled European Addiction. One cure is to take your family on an Arctic tour...perhaps an Alaskan cruise?
"Ugh, Mitzi, if I have to go to Europe one more time I am going to just SCREAM!"
"Oh I know, Bianca. When I went last year the Italians were SOO unacommodating!"
Am I being bitter here, or is this gross to anyone else? Rachael Ray's appeal (back in the Oprah guest star days) was her down-to-earth, common approach to cooking. She connected with the average American with her 30-Minute Meals and the "do what you feel like" attitude in the kitchen. This is a classic "Martin Dressler" case, as Big Lou calls them. Martin Dressler is a character from a novel who enjoyed some success and then just couldn't stop. Hello, Martha? (although I'll never stop liking Martha, no matter what...)
If Rachael's new refrigerated pet food line at the grocery store wasn't enough to turn me off, this magazine has officially hung up the apron for me. As I finished my run, I turned to the last page to find a recipe for Cheesy Turkey Sammies - for your dog. Triple blech. Rachael, you've just earned yourself a place on the "Not Hot" list of 2009.